I'd Lie
by Nixxii-Cullen
Summary: And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you." Bella hopes Edward would return her feelings, even if it was only for one night.


**Hello! well here we are with a one shot for you ! **

**This week has been hectic, with school finishing (I've LEFT HIGH SCHOOL!!) and exams starting, I've been an emotional wreck.**

**Sorry to say but this is going to be my last update for a while. This may turn into a two-shot, if people want it! I do have the next chapter written, but be warned, if posted, the rating will change from T to M (yup there's lemons for you!). If I'm perfectly honest, it's all i can write at the moment. I guess we know whats on my mind! **

**Well remember to read and review people ! **

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I watch him chase the ball across the field, the opposition not gaining enough speed to catch up with him.

I scream as he kicks the ball into the net, but my voice is lost amongst the other hundreds of roaring students.

The final whistle sounds throughout the stadium and the rest of the team descended, along with the scantily clad cheerleaders.

My tiny body is crushed as the students push past trying to get to the team, to pat them on their backs and hoist them up onto their shoulders.

I walk towards the car park, ready to wait as long as it takes for him to decide he wants to come home.

Shouts and laughter emanate from the crowd as the crowd flood out of the stadium doors, the team amongst them.

I push my I-pod earphones firmly into my ears, pressing play; trying to drown out the noise.

I don't know how long I was waiting; I was lost to my music.

Eventually he extracts himself, looking dishevelled yet euphoric.

He walks up to me, pulling me into a bone-breaking hug, whispering softly,

"We did it."

It was his post-match quote. He was adamant that it was both he and I out there on the pitch. He was his legs and I was his heart.

We climb into the Volvo, me driving as I know he had drunk with the guys after the game.

He replays the game to me, kick for kick, forgetting I was there to see it all.

I alternate my glance between the road and his eyes.

They were the most amazing shade of green, with a thin edge of gold around the pupil.

They were so deep I felt like I was drowning.

I let my thoughts drift, his voice a peaceful background song to my memories.

The Cullen's adopted me when I was four.

Edward was five.

He stood in the garden with his brothers, Jasper and Emmett.

Carlisle brought me round the back yard and introduced me to them all.

Jasper and Emmett waved and continued to kick the ball between them.

Edward though, rolled the ball towards me and invited me to play two-a-side with them.

We kicked their ass.

Esme and Carlisle beamed with pride.

That was the moment I fell in love.

From that moment on we were inseparable.

We still are.

Despite our different social outlooks, we were never apart. He was the schools golden boy, star soccer player, who won them the state play-offs every year.

I was the little sister who was popular by default.

No one said anything about it. It was accepted.

No one contradicted it.

Guys avoided me, since Mike Newton got a broken nose for coming on too strong.

Girls envied me as I arrived every morning with Edwards arm around my shoulders.

I was Bella Cullen. Untouchable.

But it was fine by me. I had my best friend. I didn't need them.

I parked the car in our driveway, noting Alice and Rosalie's cars parked in the garage.

I was blocking them in but it didn't matter, it was Friday, they'd be staying anyway.

Edward pulled his head up, taking in the cars in front, smirking cheekily at me.

"I guess you're staying with me tonight"

I laughed and got out the car nodding.

My bedroom was sandwiched between Jasper and Emmett's. When the girls stay over it normally meant a sleepless night for me.

While my en-suite bathroom blocked out most of the noise from Alice and Jasper; there was nothing but drywall and insulation between me and the screamers.

Who would have thought that prim and proper Rosalie 'homecoming queen/student body president' Hale knew that many expletives.

Eventually Edward noticed the bags under my eyes on a Saturday morning and realised what was causing my sleep deprivation.

The following Friday he waltzed into my room and pulled me up into his arms, covers and all, and carried me to his room.

He had the only bedroom on the third floor, along with Carlisle's study, so I was free from the noises that plagued my worst nightmares.

From then on I would stay with him on a Friday night.

No one said anything about it.

Why would they?

We were Bella and Edward Cullen. Nothing could happen between us. It would be too weird.

Not that it isn't part of my best dreams.

Technically we aren't related, as Carlisle and Esme were his biological parents, while they were just given guardianship by my parent's attorney.

It was part of Charlie and Renee's will for me to go to them in the event of their death.

It wouldn't actually be against the law if anything happened between us.

Not that it would ever happen.

Edward didn't think that about me.

I was his little sister.

Which made it a little bit worse that I thought it and he didn't.

He threw his arm around my shoulders as we walked into the house.

I could hear the music coming from my brothers bedrooms' as we walked the three flights of stairs up to Edwards bedroom.

I had always thought of Emmett and Jasper as my brothers. I know it's weird, as they were Edwards biological brothers, but I always knew they would be my brothers, nothing else.

When we were little they would fight of anyone who upset me, but Edward was the one who would hold my hand in the play area to make sure they didn't come near me.

My relationship with them could never be the same as the one that I dream of with Edward.

After all, how could I be in love with him, and see him as a brother?

That was just too many shades of wrong.

Walking into his bedroom I dumped my bag onto the old arm chair that had been moved from my room to his.

It was my reading chair, and as I was always in here hanging out with him, we decided to move into here.

I tried to ignore the electricity that shot through me at the thought of mixing mine and his space.

Edward disappeared into the closet while I rummaged though the dresser to find the pair of sweats I kept.

He never could keep things in the same place.

Every week I would come back and I would find them in a different place.

The dresser. The laundry basket.

Every week a different place.

Edward returned to the room with a bottle of scotch and two shot glasses.

We drank occasionally with the others on birthdays or after the final game of the season.

Tonight was neither of them, so immediately searched through my mind to find the reason behind the alcohol.

I came up empty.

He placed the bottle on the bedside cabinet while pulling back the covers and climbing into the bed.

He patted the bed next to him, but I showed him the sweats I had pulled out from his bottom drawer pushed on top of the magazines he claimed to be Emmett's.

I really didn't want to think about the reason they were in there.

Edward was a clean freak, he didn't just throw things anywhere.

_Except when it comes to _these_ pieces of clothing ?_

Ugh! I tried not to allow my optimistic voice put ideas into my head.

There was no way that Edward would do anything with these clothes. He probably was distracted and just pushed them into the drawer.

_Yeah … or he was smelling them like you do with his old football jersey. _

I rushed into the bathroom before I could blush any more.

I discarded my clothes quickly, pulling on the sweats and tank top. I bundled up my clothes and pushed them into the hamper. I had kept my underwear on. Esme was used to finding mine and Edwards clothes mixed into together, but I think she would start asking questions if he had my panties in there as well.

I returned to the room cautiously, still weary about the bottle of scotch.

I was a light weight due to the fact I hardly ever drank, and I didn't trust myself to be in a bed with him drunk, and not embarrass myself.

I slowly slid in next to him, resting my head against the headboard.

He passed me a shot glass with a decent measure of scotch and I downed it; my nerves getting the better of me.

"We're going to play truth." she stated simply. I fought against the lump in my throat that had emerged.

"Erm…Okay. No dares?"

"Nope" he drawled, popping the 'p', "just me, you, the scotch and Mr honesty himself."

I giggled and nodded, signalling for him to begin. He refilled my glass and I sipped it slowly this time, knowing I would have to keep my wits about me.

"Hmm okay number one - who was your first crush?"

I groaned and he laughed. Looking at him I searched my brain for a decent person, as I couldn't tell him it was him.

"Eric Yorkie." I cringed. Eric was a nice boy but his hair was greasy and he felt the need to recite 'Star Wars' at every passing moment.

"Yorkie? That's bad Swan," He laughed at me. Edward had always called me Swan, as I once confided in him that it made me feel closer to my parents.

"Shut it." I gulped down the rest of my drink, staring him in the eye as I decided on a next question. The alcohol was beginning to have an affect on me now and I felt bolder.

"Jessica Stanley?" he looked at me inquisitively, so I expanded, "Did you or did you not get head from her after the state playoffs last semester?" Again I cringed.

We never told each other about our sexual experiences. His reason was he thought that it would be weird and cause tension. Which it would.

Personally I didn't have any experiences really to share, after all who would want the three biggest guys in the school asking about your intentions towards their little sister? Also, I didn't want to get the details on Tanya Fucking Denali's Fellatio skills.

"Ugh Bells? Seriously?"

I threw back my third glass and nodded, "yup."

It was his turn to cringe now, "no, she um….tried….but I told her no."

"Why" I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the answer, but I couldn't help myself.

I knew I shouldn't have drunk so quickly.

He ducked his head and smiled at me sheepishly. His hands played with the hair at the base of his head, pulling it roughly.

I briefly wondered what it would feel like to pull it myself.

"Honestly?"

"Isn't that the point of the game?" I responded, proud that I didn't slur my words.

"Touché."

He pulled in another breath, avoiding my gaze.

"Erm…I suppose it's because I was kind of…um….wanting someone …..um…..else….. at the time."

Edward was a very articulate person, even when intoxicated, so I was surprised at the amount of times he mumbled in the last sentence.

"Who?"

"Nuh-uh you've had two questions. it's my turn." his face returned to normal as he drank another shot of scotch. "And I get two this time."

I nodded again and sighed in defeat.

"Hmm number one ?" he stroked his chin thoughtfully as if contemplating something different.

"If you could have anyone for your first time, who would it be ?"

Jesus Edward, what was with the personal love life questions all of a sudden ?

I decided to play dumb.

"First what?"

"You know."

"Nope. Tell me."

"Bella come on. You know what I mean." he sounded tired now, and I laughed internally.

"No you come on Edward. Say it."

"fine," he threw his hands up into the air as a sign of defeat, "your first sexual partner."

I chuckled at his term. Only Edward could make it sound like something out of a textbook.

"hmm," I mimicked his stance, playing with him. I saw his eyes widen as he realised I was really thinking about this.

I decided to play with him some more.

I don't know if it was the alcohol.

I don't know if it was the pent up sexual frustration.

I don't even know if it was because I was fed up if hiding it from him.

Hell it was probably all three, but something took over and I turned to him and uttered one word that made his face drop and his expression harden in a way I've never seen before.

"You."

The room was silent, with only the wind in the background.

His breathing was heavy as he regarded my expression with cautious eyes.

I held my breath, waiting for him to react.

Minutes passed.

"Me?" He finally uttered, a mixture of disbelief and an emotion a couldn't place present in his voice.

I decided that I couldn't do this. I thought that I could be brave and tell him how I feel, but I couldn't.

Time for some damage control.

"Well, yeah…you're my um…best friend so I would be comfortable and um… we don't have to do any of that dating stuff as we already know everything about each other."

I realised too late that I was talking like it was a real possibility instead of a hypothetical scenario.

The silence remained in the room, but I couldn't look at Edward, I couldn't look up to see the disgust in his eyes.

"Bella…." his voice trailed off, a note of sadness tinting it.

"Don't, it's fine. Let's go to bed." I was tired of this game now and wanted to sleep.

I my dreams Edward and I were together, there was no awkwardness to deal with. I could escape to them and forget for tonight that I may have just ruined my greatest friendship.

I rolled over onto my side and pulled the covers up to my chin, squeezing my eyes shut, willing my self to sleep.

"Bella!" I heard him call my name again, this time with a more urgent tinge to it.

"Goodnight Edward." My voice came out muffled and I knew I was fighting back tears. And that meant so did he.

"No Bella." His arm reached across my waist pulling me towards him. When I refused to look at him, is fingers curled up under my chin and pulled my head up. I kept my eyes closed, trying to block out the hurt.

"Bella, please look at me."

Breathing deeply I opened my eyes to look at his emerald green ones.

"Ask me, Bella."

"What?" I asked confused, my voice weak.

"Ask me it. Ask me what I asked you."

I couldn't see the point other than my utter humiliation, but as always I agreed. Saying no to Edward was like living without oxygen; I just couldn't do it.

"Edw-" I sucked in a large breathe, trying to calm myself down.

"Edward, who do you wish was you first time." I knew this was fruitless and I waited for one of the inevitable names to pop up; Lauren, Tanya, Jessica, Kate - or any other cheerleading slut.

"You." he mimicked my words from before.

My heart burst. half with elation, half with pain, as I knew he was just trying to placate me.

"Edward don't. You don't have to make me feel better-" I was cut off as his lips brushed against mine. I was immediately speechless as he moved his lips against mine.

"I'm not lying." he mumbled against my lips, making them hum with his words.

"I, Edward Anthony Masen, want's you, Isabella Marie Swan, to be my first time."

_Say what ?_

I giggled involuntarily as his mouth moved against mine again. My heart gave up fighting and I pressed my lips against his fiercely.

The bravery from earlier took over as I muttered, "I guess its unanimous then."

"I'd say it's more like fate."

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**Awww.... how sweet! **

**Review & tell me if next chapter is wanted !**

Also just a bit of shameless pimping,

Stories i love at the moment -

Unexpected by ooohlalaaa‏ - http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/4958898/1/

Sin City by Namariel - http://www(dot) fanfiction(dot) net/s/4877388/1/

remember to leave some love x

_**Over and Out **_

_**Ms Nixxii C.**_

_**x x **_


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